Understanding your V.I.B.E. will most definitely change your life once you remain aware of what I am about to share with you, but before we get to the how, let's look at what V.I.B.E. stands for.
V = Values: Relative worth, merit, or importance.
I = Interests: The feeling of a person whose attention, concern, or curiosity is particularly engaged by something.
B = Beliefs: Confidence in the truth or existence of something not immediately susceptible to rigorous proof.
E = Expectations: The act or state of expecting.
So, what is it that gives these 4 words such a potential to change your life?
If it isn't obvious by now it will be by the end of this reading.
Values are things of importance to each individual and once understood will provide a deeper understanding of that individual, group, organization, employer, etc., and with a better understanding we are able to adjust accordingly.
Here are a few obvious examples of what values are.
Example: You are 2 to 3 years deep into a marriage before you discuss having kids and during your first official discussion about having children is where each others values about family surface. One wants kids and one does not.
Example: You meet someone, fall in love, want to get married until you realize that they have no concept of what saving money is. They are addicted to shopping and make lots of impulse purchases pushing them deeper and deeper into debt which completely goes against your core values.
Example: You fall head over heals for someone and after your second date you quickly find out that they are not a vegetarian like you are and have no desire to become one, but it's your passion and you prefer your lover to share the same value.
Interests are very important in our ability to quickly connect and build rapport with others. The more interest that people share the quicker and easier it is to connect and build rapport. The less interest people share the more challenging it may be to build rapport.
Example: You are a sales person who is trying to sell a product or service to a stranger but first we must establish a connection to build rapport or the chances of closing the sale are very low. Meaning, if you strike up a conversation about sports and the other person doesn't follow sports it will be a very short lived conversation forcing you to either redirect the conversation to another topic or possibly just walking away all together.
Example: You just moved into a new neighborhood and you begin the process of connecting with your neighbors. You open up a conversation about fishing but your neighbor doesn't like to fish. You talk about collecting artwork but they aren't interested in art. You then try the subject of cooking but they have little interest in cooking either. I'm sure you get the point.
Now this doesn't mean that you won't or can't be friends with your neighbor but it definitely gives you a sense of the type and quality of that potential relationship.
All of these elements are very important but beliefs are probably at the top of the list.
Why? Because beliefs are what ultimately shape our realities and because of that they are very challenging to change. Most of our core beliefs are heavily influenced and shaped from birth within our predominate environment.
Example: There is only one God. There are many Gods. There is no God.
Example: Money doesn't grow on trees. You have to work hard for money. The rich are evil.
Now, although beliefs are one of the strongest elements in V.I.B.E., it is possible for us to change our own beliefs. I have witnessed people I now personally transition from Catholicism to Mormonism. The key ingredient to ANY self made change is the desire to do so.
When we come across those who differ in beliefs the chances for disputes and conflict are very high! The longer we are in ANY relationship with conflicting beliefs the more challenging and intense things could possibly become.
These are very important because we all expect things and the challenge is that most of us are unaware of the expectations we have of others.
Example: When we text someone we have an unsaid expectation as to when that person should respond and if they don't meet this expectation it could lead to frustration and resentment.
Example: When first moving in with another person whether a friend or a significant other, we might expect them to keep the house a certain way or perform specific tasks and if we do not discuss these unknown expectations up front it could lead to a rocky roommate situation.
Expectations are probably one of the most overlooked and unknown elements of V.I.B.E.. We expect to be treated a specific way when frequenting a dining establishment. We expect teachers to interact with us and our children in a specific way, but most every time as we enter into ANY relationship we are completely unaware of these expectations. Why? Primarily because they are not taught in the traditional American school system.
Now I know that most of this may seem so obvious to most and it should because I am using obvious examples but you would be surprised at how many of us do not have V.I.B.E. at the forefront as we enter into ANY relationship, especially during our adolescent stages. Why? Because they do not teach these concepts in the traditional American school system.
Knowing your V.I.B.E. is not a cure all to relationships and it doesn't guarantee relationships will be perfect, but it most definitely will help you make quicker and wiser adjustments as you navigate through ANY relationship saving you lots of time, money, stress, etc..
The thing that makes V.I.B.E. so powerful when navigating through ANY relationship is the awareness of V.I.B.E. because once we are aware of our own V.I.B.E. we will automatically and more easily notice other peoples V.I.B.E. and because of this we are better able to allocate our time, money and other valuable resources into or out of ANY relationship.
I "believe" most people are not bad people. We either V.I.B.E. or we don't V.I.B.E.. The more we V.I.B.E. with others the closer we will become, the less we V.I.B.E. with others will more than likely push us further apart.
Some excellent questions to ask yourself when it comes to whether or not you should pursue or not pursue ANY relationship...
1. Is this difference between us something that is just a one time thing?
2. Is this difference between us a once in a while thing that I can or am willing to live with or tolerate?
3. Is this difference between us something that will definitely affect this relationship long term in a negative way?
Understanding your V.I.B.E. makes navigating through ANY relationship 10x easier because knowing this up front could potentially save you lots of heartache, stress, time, money, or any other valuable resources.
I hope you now have a better understanding of the importance and benefits of this acronym that I have coined as my discovery 🤓 and "believe" me when I say that this discovery didn't come without a lot of trial and error, stress, heartache, frustration, and resentment.
RESTORE THE POWER TO THE PEOPLE
Culture Creator & Business Strategist Extraordinaire